Chapter XV

Chapter XV. Letters from the Past

Replies to reader letters apply one set of ideas to bad luck, marriage, money and fear: trouble comes from excess importance and control of the script. Pick a goal, loosen your grip.

In one paragraph

The chapter is a run of reader letters with Zeland's replies. Each reply applies the same few ideas to a different problem: bad luck, a failing marriage, trading losses, grief, fear, family pressure and depression. The common thread is that trouble comes from excess importance and from the mind trying to control the script. The remedy is to pick a goal, loosen your grip, and treat life as a role you play with detachment. Two points recur: aim at the goal, not its attributes, and test decisions against the heart. The chapter ends with reality inversion, a humorous method for climbing out of a bad run.

Key ideas

  1. The world reflects your attitude, but the reflection can lag by days or months. A run of bad luck after a happy period is the world answering a fearful or clinging attitude held during the good period. [0:02:54]
  2. The mind insists on its own script and calls anything off-script a failure. Big successes arrive unplanned, when control slips. No one can give you a recipe; choose, then stay out of the way. Past mistakes end up serving the goal you hold. [0:05:08], [0:07:14], [0:09:36]
  3. Couples quarrel because they cannot accept each other as they are. Balanced forces pair opposites, and a pendulum feeds on the irritation. A marriage is a play with fixed roles; step into the audience or play your role as children do. [0:12:25], [0:14:35], [0:17:43]
  4. Charity is good only if sincere. Giving to buy absolution is a deal with God, and it is the religion pendulum that wants the donation. Love yourself first. [0:21:28], [0:23:23]
  5. The soul does not want money; it wants what money buys. Define the goal, then move toward it without planning how. Mind and soul together open doors. [0:25:01], [0:26:22]
  6. After a basic grounding in a field, stop collecting other people's books and ask your own soul, which has access to the information field. The mind only rebuilds old blocks; the new comes from heart and mind united. [0:30:07], [0:32:15]
  7. Helping works through detachment, not by being touched by the other person's problem. Duty and guilt are importance, not compassion, which is spontaneous. [0:34:33], [0:38:16]
  8. You cannot win back someone who has left by pushing (inner intention). Everyone's inner intention aims to protect their self-worth, so meeting the other person's need turns your intention into outer intention. Zeland also asks whether you want the person or your wounded self-esteem. [0:40:25], [0:42:26], [0:44:20]
  9. Career, stability and pay are attributes of a goal, not goals. Chasing them is like a moth at a bulb. Success lies in the process of moving toward the real goal. [0:50:01], [0:51:53]
  10. Pure intention is calm, unconditional certainty, free of desire, fear and doubt. Wanting is not intending. The motto is "I do not want or hope I intend." [0:55:47], [1:03:48]
  11. Fear is excess potential, and fighting it costs double energy. Lower importance if you can, build a safety net, feel the fear fully, or act. [1:05:51], [1:07:45], [1:09:45]
  12. Obstructive people are puppets of pendulums, drawn by your own inflated importance (polarization). Stop comparing yourself with them. [1:19:14], [1:21:15]
  13. Reality darkens fast and brightens slowly, so depression is a trap. Inversion counters it by meeting trouble with exaggerated humor. [1:27:10], [1:29:13]

Terms

  • Mirror — the world gives back your relationship to it, with a delay. First appears [0:02:54]
  • Coordination of intention — once you have chosen, assume everything is unfolding as it should. First appears [0:07:51]
  • Importance (inner and outer) — excess meaning attached to a thing or to yourself. First appears [0:11:05]
  • Excess potential — an energy imbalance caused by importance or fear. Balanced forces move to cancel it. First appears [0:13:19]
  • Pendulum — a collective energy structure that feeds on people's emotion and steers behavior. First appears [0:13:19]
  • Polarization — importance on one side draws the opposite quality or person into your life. First appears [0:13:19]
  • Asleep in waking — living absorbed in a role, as in a non-lucid dream. First appears [0:12:25]
  • Participating spectator — acting your part while watching from the auditorium. First appears [0:36:25]
  • Inner / outer intention — inner pushes at the world for what you want; outer lets the world meet you halfway. First appears [0:40:25]
  • Fraling — drop the intention to receive and replace it with the intention to give. The transcript spells it frailing; check against the glossary. First appears [0:42:26]
  • Reality inversion — answering bad events with a deliberate, humorous reversal of the expected reaction. First appears [1:27:10]

Practices

Play your roles (partners)

  1. Catch the moment your partner does the irritating thing. [0:17:43]
  2. Name the role each of you is playing.
  3. Play your own role with exaggerated humor, as a child plays at being a grown-up.

Ask your soul a question

  1. Accept that knowledge is accessible to you. [0:33:17]
  2. Ask a specific question, then wait. The answer may take days or months. [0:34:13]

Give instead of receive

  1. Name what you are trying to get from the other person. [0:42:26]
  2. Work out what their inner intention is aimed at.
  3. Direct your actions at meeting that need and let go of what you wanted.

Feel the fear, then act

  1. If you cannot lower importance, do not argue yourself out of fear. [1:07:45]
  2. Set up a safety net or alternative route where you can.
  3. Feel the fear fully and go ahead (his example is a presentation).
  4. For anxiety, take any action at all. [1:09:45]

Play the fool (against pressure from others)

  1. Choose an inanimate stand-in, such as a teddy bear. [1:15:29]
  2. Write a formal, detailed plan for fooling it around, with safety measures.
  3. Carry it out seriously. When you laugh, stop, laugh it out, then continue. [1:17:27]

Reality inversion

  1. When things go wrong, react the opposite way a pendulum expects, with wit. [1:29:13]
  2. If you are too low for that, exaggerate the gloom until it turns absurd and flips. [1:35:25]
  3. Zeland advises against doing this alone, and against substances. [1:37:22]

Watch out for

  • The reply to the first letter comes close to blaming the writer's attitude. The lag of days to months makes it hard to test, since any later event can be matched to an earlier mood. [0:02:54]
  • Nothing bad following something good, and mistakes always serving the goal, are asserted, not argued. [0:05:08], [0:09:36]
  • Zeland says he cannot advise on specifics, then advises. He admits his opinion is subjective. [0:48:08], [0:59:50]
  • The mental-illness passage (attunement to an unmanifested sector) and the advice to stop treating the children have no support offered. For a real condition, take medical advice. [0:57:48]
  • Tensions to examine: love yourself and pursue wealth against give to receive; do not force intention against being told to intend. [0:23:23], [0:42:26]
  • He concedes that Transurfing is itself a kind of pendulum, for individualists. [1:01:46] The exam story is a personal anecdote. [1:33:10]

Review questions

Try each one cold, then open the answer.

  1. According to Zeland, why does a run of bad luck follow a happy period?
    Show answer
    He says it is not real bad luck. The person held a fearful or clinging attitude in the good period, and the mirror returned it with delay.
  2. Why is it a mistake to chase career, pay or stability?
    Show answer
    They are attributes of a goal, not the goal. They come on their own once you reach the real goal, and chasing them yields mediocre results.
  3. What does a sudden to-hell-with-it mood do to polarization in a marriage?
    Show answer
    Giving up the grip weakens polarization, quietens the balanced forces and lets the pendulum leave you alone, so the relationship eases.
  4. What distinguishes compassion from duty?
    Show answer
    Compassion is a spontaneous wave of feeling for a particular person. Duty is guilt and importance; being tortured by every beggar you pass is duty.
  5. Why can't inner intention win back a partner who has left?
    Show answer
    Pushing directly, even if it works, returns a changed person. Their inner intention aims at their own self-worth, so only meeting that need turns your intention into outer intention.
  6. What are the heart's signs for a right and a wrong decision?
    Show answer
    Unease or a sense of obligation in the gut means the heart says no. No discomfort means yes or not sure, and the mind then decides. A right decision is when "the heart will sing and the mind will rub its hands in glee." [0:53:47]
  7. Why is fighting fear self-defeating, in his terms?
    Show answer
    Resisting spends energy on the potential and again on holding it back, leaving little free energy, and the potential builds toward panic.

Desk work

  1. Describe a good period during which you were already worried about it ending. Did the next phase fit your fear? Write three lines on whether the mirror explains it.
  2. Pick a goal and list its attributes (money, status, security). Then write what the goal itself would feel like day to day.
  3. Pick one recurring irritation with a person. Write how you would play your part in it as a game.

Connections

Mastery checklist

Tick an objective when the evidence is on the page. Ticks stay in this browser. The same list, with the terms to own, is on itsown page.

Objectives

0 of 14 ticked

  • explain Evidence: retell the first letter in three sentences, naming the attitude that went into the mirror and when. [0:02:54] [0:03:42] [0:05:08]

  • explain Evidence: write one paragraph without the word "control"; use the point about success "dropping out of the sky". [0:05:08]–[0:06:28] [0:07:14] [0:08:38] [0:09:36]

  • apply Evidence: do Desk work 3 in the guide; name each person's role and write how you would play yours as a child plays at being grown-up. [0:12:25] [0:16:52] [0:17:43] [0:36:25]

  • explain Evidence: write a two-sentence definition, then one example in which "I am organised and they are slobs" draws in its opposite. [0:13:19] [1:19:14] [1:21:15]

  • analyse Evidence: answer review question 3 in the guide, then say which claim has the weaker support. [0:13:19] [0:14:35]

  • explain Evidence: do Desk work 2 in the guide; use "the soul wants what money buys" to restate one goal. [0:25:01] [0:26:22] [0:50:01] [0:51:53]

  • recall Evidence: answer review question 6; then write one real decision and mark which sign you feel. [0:32:15]–[0:34:13] [0:51:53] [0:53:47]

  • explain Evidence: answer review question 4; give one example of each from your own week. [0:34:33] [0:36:25] [0:38:16]

  • apply Evidence: answer review question 5; then take one relationship and name what you want from the person and what they want from you. [0:40:25] [0:42:26] [0:44:20]

  • recall Evidence: write the three "is not" lines and the motto from memory; he gives "mail from the post box" as the pure case. [0:55:47] [1:03:48]

  • apply Evidence: answer review question 7; then pick a dreaded task and write which response fits and why. [1:05:51] [1:07:45] [1:09:45]

  • apply Evidence: take one person who "gets in your way" and trace the chain: importance, polarization, puppet, irritation. [1:13:39] [1:15:29] [1:19:14] [1:21:15]

  • analyse Evidence: write one inversion of a recent setback; then state his warnings about doing it alone and with substances, and say why the exam story is one anecdote, not evidence. [1:27:10] [1:29:13] [1:31:13] [1:35:25] [1:37:22]

  • analyse Evidence: pick from: "nothing bad follows good"; the lag in the mirror; mental illness as another sector; "love yourself" against "give to receive"; and Transurfing as a pendulum for individualists. [0:05:08] [0:23:23] [0:42:26] [0:57:48] [1:01:46]

Readiness check

Answer these without looking anything up.

  1. Why can a happy period be followed by a bad one without the mirror failing? What makes this hard to test?
  2. What does the mind do to the script, and what is the one thing he says you should do after choosing?
  3. What causes polarization? Why is the cause not your good qualities?
  4. What is the difference between a goal and its attributes? Give your own example.
  5. How do you tell compassion from duty, and which one comes from importance?
  6. Why does fighting a fear cost more energy than feeling it?
  7. In relationships, what is every person's inner intention aimed at, and how does meeting that need change yours?
  8. How does reality inversion work in his account, and what does he advise against?

The next chapter assumes you hold one idea: excess importance creates polarization, which draws opposing people and pendulum puppets into your life, and you can ease it by stepping back as a participating spectator who plays the role without gripping it.